Nostalgia

Without fail before each new baby comes I have some feelings of sadness. It's hard not to somehow feel as if there is a small period of mourning. I love my kids and am thrilled with each new baby. When each new child comes to the family it feels as if they have always been there. We can't imagine our life without them. But...until the safe arrival of that new bundle, I can't help but feel a little sad for the life I am leaving behind in a sense. Our Kate has been such a sweetheart, and brought so much joy to our family. I have been trying to hold her a little more as of late. I don't want her to feel sad or out of place when a new little girl comes to take the place of "baby".

I was just looking at our family pictures over the last 6 months. So much joy, fun and happiness. So why do those pictures of 4th of July and Disneyland and ice cream in the summer time make me feel sad? I think while the arrival of a new baby opens a new chapter in our lives I feel like it also closes one. That closing chapter has been one of my favorites. Ethan in t-ball and Anna losing her first teeth. Kate sitting on the potty like a big girl. Fishing on the river as a family and our first garden planted together. All I have left to remember my children growing up are those picture and the many wonderful memories that have been made. At times that just doesn't seem like enough. I know there are many more wonderful times to come, and that with this new little baby we'll have even more joy. I just can't help but cry a little today. I can hardly believe that our big 7 year old boy was once a small little baby swaddled in our arms.

If only these precious moments didn't have to pass quite so quickly...