1 week pre due date

That's right just one week until my due date. Wether I will have a baby by then or not is still to be determined. It's not looking like Miss Jane is anxious to join our family. At my OB appointment this week the doc told me I had made no progress at all and that he would just see me next week. I wasn't too upset because I haven't been overly anxious for her arrival. Again, not because I don't want her to come I just know how hard having a newborn can be. Sure, I'm not overly comfortable and the pregnant jokes and comments are becoming just a tad old but it's all good.

Our camera died last week during spring break, of course. Who doesn't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a camera just after buying a car seat, diapers, clothes etc to get ready for a new baby? I guess I could use a disposable camera for a while or borrow one, but come on who wants to mess with one of those and miss those first special moments. Babies change so quickly that you have to capture them everyday in the beginning. When I got home and charged the battery and was learning how to use the camera I was more excited for Jane's arrival than I have been so far. I could just picture scrolling through the pictures of her first moments of life. Very exciting if you ask me. Who will she look like? Will she have dark or blonde hair? A Wilson or Barrett? When Kate made her debut she looked just like Ethan did when he was born. Not so much anymore. Our kids don't look a like to me which I think is interesting. Some people's kids all look just a like. It guess it's fun to have the variety.

I think other than wanting a healthy baby I wonder and worry about her temperment. I have had a "normal" baby, a great baby, and a very challenging baby. I think that's why I'm not in a huge rush to have her come yet. I don't have infant amnesia. I remember how difficult it was to have Anna cry all day and all night for basically forever. Did I mention she didn't sleep through the night once until she was about 23 months? I think part of me is afraid to go through all that again. I bought a baby sling, and hope that fussy or not that having her close to me and having my hands free will be good for both of us.

I have had my moments, but on the whole have felt well and upbeat. Today isn't quite that way. I'm feeling emotional about everything and anything. I am trying to tell myself it's hormones. Just as much as I want to meet our new daughter I'm also anxious to have my body back to myself and feel a tad more in control of things. I have never been so heavy in my life and that is "weighing" me down. I have a hard time remembering that there was ever a time that I felt "fit". Before I was pregnant I was running 6 miles. Now I'm winded climbing the stairs. The other day I had to carry a sleeping Kate up to her room and I thought I would die.

I am trying to enjoy these last pregnancy moments. The kicks, stretches, pushes and pains. There's a good chance I may never be pregnant again, and while that thought brings some relief and joy I can't help but admit that once that baby comes out of my belly I miss them for just a little while. I remember each time showering after the birth of a baby and looking down to this large but gooshy spot in my tummy that was just hours before a home, that grew and nurtured a life and spirit inside of me. It is an emotional thing knowing that little body is no longer a part of me. That now I have to share her with the world.