So I am annoyed. What does it take these days to have your children listen, obey and respect us, their parents? Is it just us? What have we done or not done to have our children act the way they often do? First off I am totally against the thought of being your child's best friend etc. I think that philosophy is only going to cause major problems later when you actually change your mind and realize it probably would have been better to be their parent and have your children learn to respect you. I of course also want my children to like me and love me but not by giving in to their every demand and never saying no and all that malarky! I don't want things to be like in the olden days where children were seen and not heard, but... sometimes I gotta tell ya it doesn't sound all that bad. When I was a child there was no way I would ever talk-back to my parents, EVER! My kids don't often talk back but they don't come in when I call them, don't want to turn off the T.V. when I ask them. Ask for food all day long. Cry that they are hungry at bedtime even though we warn them if they don't eat dinner that's it. Come out of their room again and again at bed time. The list goes on and on. I'm just frustrated is all. Where is the balance in teaching your children to understand the importance of respect and all the while not constantly yelling and wanting to break their spirits every other minute? I do think our generation has done a poor job at somehow allowing children to be the tail that wags the dog.
Tonight on the way home from a fun family outing Kate fell asleep in the car because it was her bedtime. I told Ethan and Anna to leave her alone and let her sleep. Of course they continued to poke at her, tickle her feet etc. I told them I was completely serious that she was tired and to let her sleep. Just as we pull into the drive way and I am thinking how easy it will be to just put her in her bed and she will sleep I look back to see Anna smacking her on the chest to wake her up. What??? I was soooo mad at her. she knew full well that she wasn't to even touch her and here she is purposely smacking her making her wide awake and upset to boot. Of course I pulled her out of the car and got in her face to tell her how upset i was with her and then she pulls a typical Anna and because I made her upset she tries to manipulate the situations as usual and says "I can't walk" (I pulled her out of the car at the mailbox to talk to her and she didn't have her flip flops on, heaven forbid, so she couldn't walk up the drive way in bare feet, even though she walks barefoot all day long) So I told her that was too bad and we were going in the house so she just stands there screaming like crazy. Randall being the nice parents was going to go pick her up and carry her in but I told him no way, that she was not going to control the situation. Once she realized I was serious when the garage door started down she came running and screaming for Daddy of course. I told her Daddy wasn't going to save her tonight. When she came in I immediately put her in PJ's and told her it was time for bed. I did tell her I was sorry for getting mad but that she needed to learn to obey. I know I'm going on and on but help. Do your kids act like this?? Is there a boarding school nearby that takes 3 year olds? Advice...please...help?
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4 comments:
3 year olds are a difficult breed. I have always thought that it is worse than 2 because they know how to mouth off and they know that whatever there are doing is wrong (not just nieve). I am glad that I am not the only parent who feels this way. My children are stinkers and it is usually Tyson who is 5. It drives me nuts because he is definitely old enough to know what to do and he gets Easton to do everything he does. If you figure anything out, let me know cause I need help too! :)
I'm laughing because last night we didn't read scriptures, say prayers, read books, or sing a song. I was so done, I put Zach's pajamas on him and threw him in bed. Good night. If he comes out, we have a retractable baby gate that I will close and let you cry kid... I think all kids are like this sometimes. Good luck on your quest! Tell me any tips you learn!
Patience! Forgiveness (for yourself and your kids!). Consistent "if-thens". For example, if you hit, then you go to your room immediately (ditto on biting, yelling, talking back, kicking). If you don't help set the table, then you don't get to eat with us. If you don't want to walk into the house yourself, then you can stay in the car (obvisouly not out in the sun!). If you don't eat your dinner, then you go to bed hungry (I refuse to run a restaurant). If you practice the piano, then you can play on the computer. I'm not perfect with them, but it is the only thing that works for me. Be aware, three-year-olds want to know what the boundaries are... thus all the if-thens... they need to know if they do "this", then "this" is the consequence. They will test it: is it true if I do this today? What if I do this a different way? What if I tell someone else to do this? What if I say this was an accident? What if I throw a tantrum? The consequence has to be consistent! Good luck!
I can relate! I have to admit that three is one of my least favorite ages. I remember how Mckenna was at three. Now Parker is acting the same way she did. It is the age where they start to fight you on everything. It is really frustrating at times. So you are not alone.
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