Nostalgia

Without fail before each new baby comes I have some feelings of sadness. It's hard not to somehow feel as if there is a small period of mourning. I love my kids and am thrilled with each new baby. When each new child comes to the family it feels as if they have always been there. We can't imagine our life without them. But...until the safe arrival of that new bundle, I can't help but feel a little sad for the life I am leaving behind in a sense. Our Kate has been such a sweetheart, and brought so much joy to our family. I have been trying to hold her a little more as of late. I don't want her to feel sad or out of place when a new little girl comes to take the place of "baby".

I was just looking at our family pictures over the last 6 months. So much joy, fun and happiness. So why do those pictures of 4th of July and Disneyland and ice cream in the summer time make me feel sad? I think while the arrival of a new baby opens a new chapter in our lives I feel like it also closes one. That closing chapter has been one of my favorites. Ethan in t-ball and Anna losing her first teeth. Kate sitting on the potty like a big girl. Fishing on the river as a family and our first garden planted together. All I have left to remember my children growing up are those picture and the many wonderful memories that have been made. At times that just doesn't seem like enough. I know there are many more wonderful times to come, and that with this new little baby we'll have even more joy. I just can't help but cry a little today. I can hardly believe that our big 7 year old boy was once a small little baby swaddled in our arms.

If only these precious moments didn't have to pass quite so quickly...

Tired

or maybe the more appropriate word would be exhausted. Just 6 weeks left til the old due date. I am trying to brave it this time and go into labor on my own rather than my usual method, induction. Induction brings a baby sooner and probably a tad smaller than if I went on my own but it's not particularly pleasant. At times I feel like I am so tired and just want her to come but then I realize that once she comes I actually have to consciously feed her, and several times a day and night I might add. I also have to soothe her, change her, and stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I am very anxious to meet and see and snuggle and kiss this cute little person, but with that little meet and greet comes a very cute but very needy little babe that just may keep me up ALL night. Right now I'm not up ALL night, just some of the night. Right now I can actually get a nap once in a while while my girls nap or play quietly. A wee one may not be as accomodating. These are the things I remind myself when my pelvis hurts, my hips hurt, my heartburn is raging it's ugly head and my feet are fat and puffy. Not to mention my enormous body that is housing this little soul. It will all be worth it and I'm excited, but for now I'm quite content being pregnant for maybe just a little longer.

Mirror Mirror on the wall I am my Mother after all!

My Mom and I saw that that quote in a shop one day and had a good laugh. I was thinking about that today when I heard myself saying things like "settle down or somebody is going to get hurt!" I am realizing lately that my kids are doing some of the same annoying things I did as a child.

Ethan often claims he can't find his socks. I know why since the other day I was helping him pick up his room and found socks all over his room. Not in plain site of course but in the most random of places. Heaven forbid he actually put them in the dirty clothes basket. It takes a lot more thought and effort to think of a great "hiding place" for each pair.

I've also noticed that my children must think that in, by, over under all mean the same thing. I will ask them to do something like put the books in the bag or homework in their folder or something in the garbage and inevitably those things end up on the bag, by the garbage and so forth. It's highly annoying. Why is it so much harder to put laundry in the basket instead of right by it? It often even touches the very thing it actually belongs to. I remember that my Mom used to get mad about these same things when we were kids. I guess at least it's a good reminder that my kids are at least normal right?

P.S. For dinner tonight i made a calzone sort of thing with homemade bread with eggs and veggies and turkey and cheese inside. Ethan looked in the oven and saw just the bread baking and said to me "you made bread for dinner? How in the world is that supposed to fill us up?" I just may consider a dinner strike. Yet another thing my Mom occasionally did when we were kids complaining about dinner!

Holy Smack!

OK, so I've actually never heard that expression before "Holy smack". That is until today when I was sitting in a chair at Ethan's school and a woman walked in, saw me and exclaimed "Holy Smack!" Thankfully I take all of these fine comments in stride and none of them bother me. Thankfully I find them all amusing. I could write a book of the interesting things mostly woman have said to me over the years. I find it interesting that it is women who give these strange comments when they themselves have most assuredly been pregnant at some time and probably didn't love the comments they received.

When I was visiting San Antonio I was in a jewelry store and a woman approached me and told me how cute my belly was, and then proceeded to rub it. Mind you the rubbing was not just once around and then done, but again and again, around and around. It was almost dizzying. Admittedly, I actually don't really mind when people touch my tummy. It's so big and out there I almost don't feel as if it's a part of me anymore. I also don't really enjoy it either. The woman who saw me this morning also asked me if she could "touch it". I found it interesting that she referred to my tummy as an it. I guess I don't know what else you would call it but somehow it made me think I should start a circus side show and charge people to come and see the huge pregnant lady and for an extra charge they could even "touch it".

Funny kids...

Today you would think it was my birthday. I got so many text and calls that it was amazing. Only problem is it's not my birthday, not even close. But...Kate got a hold of my phone today and somehow in her 2 year old way sent a pre-written text that said "call me when you get this" with a little added gibberish to the end and somehow sent it to my ENTIRE address book. I don't even know how to do that! So needless to say I received some calm and some not so calm calls from people all over the U.S. wondering if i was OK, or having the baby or something. I was so embarrassed and felt so bad and considered sending a follow up text explaining the mistake, but again I don't know how to do that! What a funny little girl.

In other news, today Anna came to me about 11 saying she was "STARVING" and begged me to make her a snack. I told her it was almost lunch time and I would soon be making lunch. So lunch rolls around and she takes 3 bites and is done. I said "I thought you were starving?" and she said "I was only starving a little." Figures.

Dead chicken for dinner

Tonight we picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner. On the way home we were discussing that chicken comes from chickens, beef from cows etc. Anna suddenly asked if what we were eating was chicken then how is it possible that we eat it? I explained to her that the chicken was dead and was cooked. Let's just say it made for some interesting conversation with a plethora of disgusting questions. The kids kept asking how the chicken dies and if we were eating it's guts etc. Ethan was sure the chickens get stabbed with a pitch fork or something like that. He obviously wasn't bothered by eating a dead bird. By the time dinner was over I was so grossed out I wasn't sure I was going to be able to keep my dead chicken dinner down!

A funny

Ethan brought home his report card yesterday. I opened it and was pleased to see an "x" marked in the exceptional category except for one. The one outlier was an "x" between satisfactory and exceptional and it was in regard to Ethan's attitude in class. I complimented and praised him for doing such a great job pointing all how well he had done and what a great report he had. Then I told him there was just one area that he needed to work on a little bit. His response? "So, what are you saying Mom that I just totally suck!"

Needless to say I was a tad taken aback. Maybe he doesn't have a problem with attitude after all???

Disclaimer: We do not generally use the word "sucks" in our family which makes this even more funny.